Where's that crap gonna go?

Okay, organizing can be a bitch because you gotta pull out all the crap and make a big mess before it gets better.

Prepare by taking it space by space. Don't think about the entire house. Think 1 closet. 1 drawer. 1 shelf.

Where is that crap gonna go?

First, get yourself a pack of Post-It notes, a pen or pencil and 3 boxes.

Box 1: Line with trash bag and place a few more underneath. This is the TOSS box. Stuff that is worthless, things that cannot be passed down the line, paper, and trash. Fill it up. Throw it away. Replace trash bag.

Box 2: Place items for CHARITY in this box. Be it Goodwill, Salvation Army or your local thrift store. This box gets the items you don't need but are still in good shape.

Box 3: This is the dangerous box. The KEEP box. You should place items in here if they should moved elsewhere. Place a Post-It note on item with new destination so when you complete the organization, you can pick up the box and play "mailman" and deliver the items to their new home. OR, write a friend or family member's name on the Post-It note and place aside for their approval or drop-off. OR, sell the item on eBay!

Now is a good time for some tough love. Giving items to others means completely relinquishing it. My mom used to give me items that she no longer wanted but would hand it over and say, "This was great grandmother's such and such, it is antique but I don't want it and am giving it to you but don't get rid of this."

"Well, are you sure you want me to have it? Do you want to keep it?"

"No, but I don't want you to get rid of it."

"Are you going to want it back at a later date?"

"No."

Finally, I learned that storing other people's items is the easiest and fastest way to accumulate stuff. Ask any parent with grown children and a house full of crap the kids won't take. They are basically an unpaid climate controlled storage unit.

Back to Mom. After attending a few feng shui classes, I realized taking on items with conditions doesn't ever make it yours so now I make no promises to anyone about keeping an item "in the family". I'll offer said item to siblings but if no takers, it moves down the line. Mom is okay with the new plan.

Offer the items to friends or family but don't you dare guilt them into taking it. For shame.

Make some money by selling on eBay or get a tax credit by donating to charity thrift store but get rid of the junk.

Here are my two rules:

1. 
   
   Hold the item in your hand and truly look at it. Remember how it came to you. Think of how you've used it. Think about the space you just pulled it from. Be really truthful and answer: Does it bring you joy? This a tough question. Does it bring you joy? Are you keeping it out of guilt? Fear of hurting someone's feelings? Did it bring you joy at one time but not so much now?


2. 
   
   If you've owned an item for 2 years, never used said item AND you can buy another at WalMart for less than $20, TOSS it.

Does it bring you joy?

Say you were 13 years old when you purchased a ceramic frog on a field trip. It was cute and reminded you of a fun time. Your friends noticed and bought more frogs for your birthdays. Your parents bestowed more ceramic frogs plus added a frog themed Christmas ornament every year. Someone gave you a frog pendant made of precious metal. Grandmother began annual gifts of porcelain frog themed Limoges boxes. Frog motif gifts every time you turned around. Now you are older and you've got frogs coming out the ass and to realize it all started with one ceramic frog you selected. Every frog since then has been selected by others.

So here's the question: Do all of those frogs bring you joy? Did they ever? Get real and get honest.

Is the original frog the only one you want to keep? Or maybe just the Christmas ornaments? Or should the entire collection go away? You are not obligated to keep something that you liked before. You are not obligated to keep a collection you didn't want. You can keep the memory. You can take photographs of you favorites. Or add a frog charm to your charm bracelet to represent that entire collection.

You can pass that collection to someone that would LOVE it. Maybe your niece comments about one particular frog each time she visits. Set it aside for her but don't perpetuate the problem by giving her all the frog stuff.

Inform your friends and family that you are no longer collecting frogs. I guarantee they'll ask what you are collecting now. Be careful with your answer. Tell them your new desired item only if you want to start the process all over again but here's what I say and it has stopped the flow of crap: I collect Waterford crystal (not little figurines and dust catchers) AND crisp $100 bills. Go for quality.

Gonna drop a deep thought on you now. Think about it before you react.

If you keep something that doesn't bring you joy,

you are being selfish.

That's right, selfish, my friends.

But it's yours, right? How is that selfish?

Well, think of it this way: you no longer enjoy the frog collection, you keep most of it in a closet, it never sees the light of day and no one else can enjoy it. Give it away, sell it, whatever - let those frogs bring someone else joy. Doesn't that make you happy to imagine someone's eyes will light up when they spy the perfect frog? Doesn't someone else's joy make it easier to give up?

Only keep items that bring you joy.
And understand that joy can change over time.