Cross stitch smart ass-ery

Just for the hell of it

Stitch it

This week was the season premiere of the long awaited "Rescue Me". New guy Black Shawn told Lou that he was waiting for love. He then uttered the quote below to which Lou said, "Yeah, that's nice. I can just see that on a sampler."

The next ass I tap,

is the ass I marry.

Go to this handy online cross stitch caption maker for a freebie chart and stitch yours now.

Cross stitch Christmas ornaments

Made a heap of cross stitch Christmas ornaments, some with pinked edges, some frayed.


And after second consideration, decided I kinda liked the pristine white wide flange and left those as is.

Stitched headlines

Hello Creative Stitchers!

Perused a shelter mag and spied this Brigid Berlin needlepoint pillow stitched with tabloid front page images and text.

Hmmm, might be fun to create a tabloid page from your own life?

Baby bib & gift

My friends decided not to find out the sex of their first baby. Well, that kinda limits my cross stitch endeavors but okay. Here is your bib, unknown baby!

Placed bib in fabric collapsible storage box along with baby stuff.

80's style country cross stitch strikes back!

Diggin' through my cross stitch crap and found this jar topper with blue ruffle. Oh fuh Gawd. Back in the day, country decor crazed folks would have loved to see a stitched cow or some such barnyard critter. Um, no. Instead I attempted to jazz it up with blue beads and taught myself a little hide-the-thread inside the ruffle trick. Those blue beads are from Dori's installation"people give me stuff" stash.

Burp Cloths

Don't really dig cross stitch crap but think it is cute for baby stuff like bibs and burp cloths.
Here baby, please burp and throw up on this nice cotton towel that I stitched and personalized with your name.

Monogrammed eyeglass case

I am so proud of me!! Sewing is a new passion and this little case makes me wish that I could stay home all day long and make more for everyone I like. But, instead I post photos while I am supposed to be working . . . .

Cross stitched the monogram.
Ironed on vintage ribbon with that magic no-sew tape.
Employed a decorative scallop stitch (my sewing machine's ONLY decorative stitch) to attach pink floral flannel lining.
Folded in half, lengthwise, with right sides together.
Sewed the two remaining sides.
Hand sewed old metal snaps to inside.

Crafty inspiration

Three books have inspired me to get back in the craft room studio.


Quilts of Gee's Bend: Masterpieces from a Lost Place by William Arnett, Alvia Wardlaw, Jane Livingston, John Beardsley is a beautiful account of quilting by African American women. Stunning photographs and engrossing stories. But the inspiration, for me, was JUST MAKE IT. Great grandmother quilted. Mom quilted. And somewhere inside me, there is a quilt. But life is busy and I figured I would look forward to that when time passed a little slower. But this book has motivated me to get out the fabric and teach myself to make quilt! No patterns, no T-squares, no pinning. Learn to quilt and have fun while doing it.

Next I picked up a book titled Subversive Cross Stitch by Julie Jackson. This woman is after my own heart. She revealed her dislike of cutesy kittens and bears offered in the pre-packaged cross stitch kits. Her subversive urge caused her to add sarcastic comments to the otherwise milquetoast stitching. (And I thought I was clever to stitch "If you've nothing nice to say, come sit by me" in fancy script.) No, Julie Jackson is way too cool for school, what with her "Go Fuck Yourself" patterns. But again, inspiration struck and I quickly stitched a fingertip towel for my friend Bonnie with her oft repeated command, Bite Me.

And then I found Sublime Stitching: Hundreds of Hip Embroidery Patterns and How-To by Jenny Hart and Alexandra Grablewskifor. I have cross stitched for at least twenty years and while I enjoy the activity, I don't want any of that crap in my house. It is fine for baby gifts but not for the wall. So, after perusing the local library, I checked out Kids Embroidery by Kristin Nicholas. I have all of the needles and floss but what to stitch on? The scrub pants were right there and a handy future reference. With my well-stocked craft stash, I pulled out water soluble pens and stencils to mark my fabric. The stitching began. Hey, this is easy! Meanwhile, I am kind of pissed that I have been jacking around with cross stitch all these years while I could have been doing embroidery.

A look around the house turned up my stack of cotton tea towels. Stitched all of those. Then made a purse. And embroidered on that. Purchased six packs of nice cotton tea towels from the KMart Martha Stewart collection. And I am looking at all of my unadorned pillowcases . . . Everything will be stitched before my hands become arthritic!

Yay, my creativity has been juiced!